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Thinking about the Text

Question:

1.       When her son dies, Kisa Gotami goes from house to house. What does she ask for? Does she get it? Why not?

2.       Kisa Gotami again goes from house to house after she speaks with the Buddha. What does she ask?

For, the second time around? Does she get it? Why not?

3.       What does Kisa Gotami understand the second time that she failed to understand the first time? Was this what the Buddha wanted her to understand?

4.       Why do you think Kisa Gotami understood this only the second time? I n what way did the Buddha change her understanding?

5.       How do you usually understand the idea of 'selfishness'? Do you agree with Kisa Gotami that she

was being 'selfish in her grief '?

Answer:

1.       Kisa Gotami's had only one son and he died. In her grief she went from house to house carrying her dead child asking me f she could get some medicine that would cure her child. No, she did not get it because her child was dead and no medicine could bring him back to life.

2.       Someone told her about a person who could her the medicine. He asked her to go to Sakyamuni. There she met the Budha. When she met the Buddha, he asked her to get a handful of mustard seeds from a house where no one had lost a child, husband, parent, or friend. She immediately agreed to his demand. She went from house to house. People were ready to help her by giving mustard seeds but she could not get the mustard seeds because there was not a single house where no one had died in the family.

3.       After listening to everybody's grief Kisa Gotami realised and understood that death is common to all and she was being selfish in her grief. There was no house where some beloved had not died. Yes, this was what the Buddha wanted her to understand.

4.       Kisa Gotami understood that death is common to all and that she was being selfish in her grief. She understood this only the second time because it was then that she found that there was not a single house where some beloved had not died.

Initially she went from house to house in her neighbourho od asking them for help. She was only thinking about her grief and asking for a medicine that would cure her dead son. When she met the Buddha, he asked her to get a handful of mustard seeds from a house where no one had died. He did this purposely to make her realize that there was not a single house where no beloved had died, and that death is natural. When she went to all the houses the second time, she realized that she could not gather the mustard seeds because there was no house where a beloved had not died. Then, when she sat and thought about it, she realized that the fate of men is such that they live and die. Death is common to all. This was what the Buddha had intended her to understand.

5.       Selfishness is preoccupation with me, me and me. Kisa Gotami was not in a position to think about other people's grief. It is natural to feel sad over death of near and dear ones. But most people carry on their next responsibility of performing proper last rites of the dead. People seldom carry a dead body in the hope of some miracle happening to that. The family and the society always comes to be with those in hours of grief. But later on the life goes on. But Kisa Gotami was so engrossed in her sorrow that she forgot to think about live members of her family and society.

Thinking about Language

Question I:

This text is written in an old-fashioned style, for it reports an incident more than two millennia old. Look for the following words and phrases in the text, and try to rephrase them in more current language, based on how you understand them.

•        give thee medicine for thy child

•        Pray tell me

•        Kisa repaired to the Buddha

•        there was no house but someone had died in it

•        Kinsmen

•        M ark!

Answer 1:

>       Give you medicine for your child.

>       Please tell me.

>       Kisa went to the Buddha.

>       There was no single house that had not lost a person.

>       Kith and Kin.

>       Notice/  note/listen.

Question II:

You know that we can combine sentences using words like and, or, but,yet and then. But sometimes no such word seems appropria te. In such a case we can use a semicolon (;) or a dash (-) to combine two clauses.

She has no interest in music; I doubt she will become a singer like her mother.

The second clause here gives the speaker's opinion on the first clause.

Here is a sentence from the text that uses semicolons to combine clauses. Break up the sentence into three simple sentences. Can you then say which has a better rhythm when you read it, the single sentence using semicolons, or the three simple sentences?

For there is not any means by which those who have been born can avoid dying; after reaching old age there is death; of such a nature are living beings.

Answer II:

These sentences can be written as under :

>       For there is not any means by which those who have been born can avoid dying.

>       After reaching an old age there is death.

> All living beings are endowed with such a nature.

Speaking

Question:

The Buddha' s sermon is over 2500 years old. Given below are two recent texts on the topic of grief. Read the texts, comparing them with each other and with the Buddha's sermon. Do you think the Buddha's ideas and way of teaching continue to hold meaning for us? Or have we found better ways to deal with grief? Discuss this in groups or in class.

I.A Guide to Coping with the Death of a Loved One

Martha is having difficulty sleeping lately and no longer enjoys doing things with her friends. Martha lost her husband of 26 years to cancer a month ago.

Anya, age    17,  doesn't  feel    like    eating  and  spends  the  days  in       her     room          crying. Her grandmother recently died.

Both of these individuals are experiencing grief. Grief is an emotion natural to all types of loss or significant change.

Feelings of Grief

Although grief is unique and personal, a broad range of feelings and behaviors are commonly experienced after the death of a loved one.

•        Sadness. This is the most common, and it is not necessarily manifested by crying.

•        Anger. This is one of the most confusing feelings for a survivor. There may be frustration at not being able to prevent the death, and a sense of not being able to exist without the loved one.

•        Guilt and Self-reproach. People may believe that they were not kind enough or caring enough to

the person who died, or that the person should have seen the doctor sooner.

• Anxiety. An individual may fear that she/he won't be able to care for herself/himself.

•        Loneliness. There are rem inders throughout the day that a partner, family member or friend is gone. For example, meals are no longer prepared the same way, phone calls to share a special moment don't happen.

•        Fatigue .There is an overall sense of feeling tired.

•        Disbelief     This occurs particularly if it was a sudden death. Helping Others Who Are Experiencing Grief

When  a friend, loved  one, or co-worker      is  experiencing  grief-how  can  we  help?  It helps to understand that grief is expressed through a variety of behaviors.

Reach out to others in their grief, but understand that some may not want to accept h elp and will not share their grief. Others will want to talk about their thoughts and feelings or reminisce.

Be patient and let the grieving person know that you care and are there to support him orher.

II. Good Grief AMITAI ETZION I

Soon after my wife died -her car slid off an icy road in 1985 -a school psychologist warned me that my children and I were not mourning in the right way. We felt angry; the proper first stage, he said, is denial.

In late August this year, my 38-year-old son, Michael, died suddenly in his sleep, leaving behind a 2-year-old son and a wife expecting their next child.

There is no set form for grief, and no 'right' way to express it. There seems to be an expectation that, after a great loss, we will progress systematically through the well-known stages of grief. It is wrong,we are told, to jump to anger -or to wallow too long in this stage before moving towards acceptance.

But I was, and am, angry. To make parents bury their children is wrong; to have both my wife and son taken from me, for forever and a day, is cruel beyond words.

A relative from Jerusalem, wh o is a psychiatrist, brought some solace by citing the maxim: 'We are not to ask why, but what.' The 'what' is that which survivors in grief are bound to do for one another. Following that advice, my family, close friends and I keep busy, calling each other and giving long Answers to simple Questions like, "How did your day go today ?"We try to avoid thinking about either the immediate past or the bereft future. We take turns playing with Max, Michael' stwo­ year-old son. Friends spend nights with the young widow, and will be among those holding her hand when the baby is born.

Focusing on what we do for one another is the only consolatio n we can find.

Answer:

It is an activity, so do yourself.

Writing

Question:

Write a page (about three paragraphs) on one of the following topics. You can think about the ideas in the text that are relevant to these topics, and add your own ideas and experiences to them.

1.       Teaching someone to understand a new or difficult idea

2.       Helping each other to get over difficult times

3.       Thinking about oneself as unique, or as one among billions of others

Answer:

Helping each other to get over difficult times

Being a social and civilised animal, man experiences both troubles and happiness during his life span. At every step there are tension, trouble, difficulties, sorrow and sadness. One can never free himself from these behavioural feelings as these are occurring at every moment.

In the present lesson Gotami is deeply shocked with the death of her only son. She goes from door to door for medicine but to no relief. At the advice of a man, she seeks the Buddha' s advice. He asks her to bring the mustard seeds from house of a man where none has died . But she finds none. She turns back tired and despaired.

In the way she experiences the lights of the city both flickering and extinguish ing. Ultimately wisdom enters her and she realises the fate of men. She understands that all are like the lights. Death is common to all. Thus through advice, talks, conversation, sermons or with other kinds of sympathy, we can help other in getting over their times.

Thinking about the Poem

Question 1:

What does the young man mean by "great honey-colou red / Ramparts at your ear?" Why does he say that young men are "thrown into despair" by them?

t!,,Answer 1:

The "great honey-coloued / Ramparts at your ear" refers to the beau tiful yellow coloured hair that falls at the woman's ear and cover it like a fence around a fort. He says that the young men are "thrown into despair" by them because they look so gorgeous on the woma n that her beauty gets methodically improved. The young men fall in love with her and feel despair. He says that it is impossible that someone would love her and not her yellow hair.

Question 2:

What colour is the young woman's hair? What does she say she can change it to? Why would she want to do so?

Answer 2:

The young woma n's hair is of yellow colour. She could have got her hair dyed to brown, black or carrot colour. She would change the colour of her hair so that the young men in gloom would love her only and not her yell ow hair. She wanted them to love her for what she was and not for her looks such as her hair colour.

Question 3:

Objects have qualities which make them desirable to others. Can you think of some objects (a car, a phone, a dress ...) and say what qualities make one object m ore desirable than another? Imagine you were trying to sell an object: what qualities would you emphasise?

Answer 3:

There is no doubt about the qualities of objects. All objects have certain qualities that make them desirable. Some of the objects can be a sofa, a car, a train, etc. one object becomes more desirable because of its worth, utility and stability, cost and durability, helpfulness to life, etc. i f we are trying to sell any object, like a mobile, we will keep in mind the above qualities. In addition to this, we can emphasise its condition, colour and battery backup, cost, etc.

Question 4:

What about people? Do we love others because we like their qualities, whether physical or mental? Or is it possible to love someone "for themselves alone"? Are some people 'more lovable' than others? Discuss this Question in pairs or in groups, considering points like the following.

(i)      a parent or caregiver's love for a new-born baby, for a mentally or physically challenged child, for a clever child or a prodigy

(ii)     the public's love for a film star, a sportsperson, a politician, or a social worker

(iii)    your love for a friend, or brother or sister

(iv)    your love for a pet, and the pet's love for you.

Answer 4:

We love other people not only because of their qualities but also due to certain other factors. It is also possible to love someone for them selves alone. We generally love some of the people most than the other ones. It depends upon the relationship and behaviour. A parent will always love his child. The love of a parent for grandmother, son, wife, daughter, sister, etc. differ according to thei r qualiti es, relationship, category or characteristics.

Question 5:

You have perhaps concluded that people are not objects to be valued for their qualities or riches rather than for themselves. But elsewhere Yeats asks the Question: How can we separate the dancer from the dance? Is it possible to separate 'the person himself or hersel f from how the person looks, sounds, walks, and so on? Think of how you or a friend or member of your family has changed over the years. Has your relationship also changed? In what way?

Answer S:

It is true that people are not objects. They are living beings with feelings. They have power to think and act. They have wisdom to do what they want. They have life since objects are deprived of such qualities. We should value a man for his self only keeping in view his qualities as well.

The poet wants to express here that we cannot separate a man from his characteristics. He

explainth is with an example that a dancer cannot be separated from dance. But it is possible since time and circumstances have their own role to play in this world. His relations with other living beings, looks, sounds, walks and the other factors also work. Circumstances and luck can make or mar the destiny of a person. Here are many cases where we can see them in a great change. Within years they become so prosperous that none can believe. But a real person maintain his relationship in the most appropriate and desirable way. He never expresses his pride in any case.

Chapter 10: The Sermon at Benares

Sermon is a religious talk given by a prophet or Saint. It is showing the jou rn ey of Gautam Buddha from his prince hood to the pious life. He left his palace at the age of 25, when he saw the sufferings of the world, to seek illumina tion and enlighten. He wandered for seven years, here and there, and was under a Peepal tree at Bodhgaya where he got his enlighten. His first sermon was delivered at Benaras as it was the holiest pla ce because of the river Ganga.

He thinks that he who wants to get peace should draw out of the expression of grief, complaint and misery. He who has drawn out has become calm, and will gain peace of mind; and will be free from sorrow and be blessed.

In the story, Kisa Gautami was grieving over the death of her son and then she reached Gautam Buddha and requested him to make his son alive. Gautam Buddha agreed to it but he asked her to bring a handful of mustard seeds but from a house where no one had lost a child, husband, parent or friend

She went from door to door but was not able to find such a home. She was shattered and lost hope

.This made her realize that lives are full of trouble and grief and no one can avoid death. She realized that death is inevitable.

Chapter 10: Poem: For Anne Gregory

It is both a sweet and a scathing poem. It is sweet for it makes us privy to the kind of lovely conversation the poet could have with the young girl Anne Gregory. This is proof of his intimate relations with the family of Lady Gregory. The compliment that the poet pays Anne at the end of the poem is another reason for calling it a sweet poem. Young women often suffer from insecurities about the way they look, but as the poet assures Anne, if you are a beautiful person on the inside, then you can never look ugly. However, this poem has a somewhat hidden meaning. Rather, it would be better to say, it reveals certain stereotypes that are not generally noticed. The fact that yellow or blond hair is appealing cannot be denied. However, Anne associates other hair colours or darker hair colours with ugliness. In young adult fiction, red haired women are often considered ugly. Moreover, in all fairy tales, witches are shown to have dark black or brown hair. These notions are put into our heads since childhood or adolescence, and hence, it is difficult not to be influenced by them. That is perhaps why girls with dark hair or red hair always feel that they are ugly in comparison with those having blond hair. Such notions are of course reinforced by men. Men prefer women who are conventionally beautiful rather than those whose beauty is of a different kind. They generally look only at the physical appearance of women and not at what kind of person they are on the inside. They judge women by their looks, and so a girl who isn't pretty but who perhaps has a great personality or some unique talent is not appreciated by her male peers in the same age group. The poet feels that this is an injustice, and so he tells Anne to beware of men who love her for her yellow hair or for her outward appearance only. He tells her that she should only value a man who loves her for her inner beauty, even if such a man is hard to come by.